Spoiler Alert: It’s A Dead Society


Over the past 5 weeks I have been going through a list of mine, a list containing different films I have been wanting and meaning to watch, one of them being The Dead Poets Society.

Before watching this I had an image in my head about how I thought this film was going to be portrayed. A young boy, unable to fulfil his dream and therefore giving up before even thinking of a way to overcome the situation and ending up…well you know if you watched it. Having said that this idea came from an episode of Friends, the one with the fake Monica. When Monica’s credit card gets stolen and she meets the women who took her card and in Monica’s mind was “living her life”.

Anyway in the scene the fake Monica was talking about the movie and how it changed her life…granted her character thought it was a terrible movie.

I thought that movie was so incredibly… boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can’t be in the play? What was that?! It’s like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, ‘Now, that’s two hours of my life that I’m never getting back’. And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.”

Now I do realise that the ending has now been uncovered but in my defense I didn’t do it…fake Monica did.

Anyway back to point…this scene from Friends, resonated with me throughout the entirety of the film. The way fake Monica thought it was all plain sailing was completely false. We are constantly being scrutinised for not conforming to society’s standards, and more often then not having to go to such extremes is the only way of getting peoples attention. It’s the sad truth!

To think it would be bliss to know that these standards have been knocked down to make way for a more open and understanding society in this day and age, but the fact is it hasn’t. If anything it was become more of a concern with the issues that we are facing now, due to race, sexuality, gender and age. 

Everything around us is crumbling down and we seem to have too much pride to do anything about it unless the unimaginable happens. I don’t see why we feel the need to set in stone the standards of how we should all be living our lives. But most of all I want to know where these standards came from and why was it so easy for us to fall into them and make them a pillar to how our society should been seen as.

However, along side the pressing issue of society’s views, we are in an age where people are finally breaking the barriers and coming into their own! If there’s one thing I take from this film and what some of us have accomplished is that I don’t need anyones approval or say so to do what I love and what will make me happy!


The Calm Factor


In recent weeks I have seen my stress level increase at an alarming rate. With deadlines creeping up on me with no word of warning, I’ve found myself stuck in a rut. However, things began to get a little better when I found a video that somehow made all my stress melt away…and I couldn’t not show it to you all.

If you are feeling stressed or just need something to relax you watch this video! Its an oddly satisfying video that you will thank me for.

Songs That Could Save Your Life.


Life has a way of coming in the way of all the happy moments, all the moments that you cherish. When you think you have it all figured out, it comes crashing down on you, and you feel lost and helpless. Not knowing where to go from here, or what to turn to for help.

Music can transcend you to a different world, or a moment in time that you captured within the movement of the drums or riff of the guitar. Music heals and does not destroy.

I always get a little sad when a song comes to an end, it’s the moment I realise I have to come back to reality, a place that I don’t always like.

But “every song has a CODA, a final movement. Whether it fades out or crashes away, every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music? The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It’s just life.” – Ellie Harp

Ever since I watched this episode of One Tree Hill, this quote has resonated within me. Music is my saviour, it helps me when I’m down and can continue my mood for the rest of the day. If I didn’t have music, my life would not be the same.

In saying that, I thought I would share with you my top 5 songs that really save me. Now this list really could be longer but that would make this post extremely long. So I’ve tried to cut it down as much as I can.

1) All About You – McFly

McFly, was the first band I truly fell in love with, and to this day they are still my favourite band. This British boy band, brought to me the wonders of my youth, I met some of the best people I know through the common interest in this band. One event that really sticks out for me, was one sunny Saturday afternoon, my friends and I decided to go to one of the local school summer fairs in hope to meet Tom Fletcher’s (Singer-songwriter and guitarist) dad, who worked as the caretaker at my friends primary school. Granted it was a bit stalkerish, but it’s a memory I will always cherish.

2) For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic – Paramore

Now I was pretty late to the party with this song, didn’t know about Paramore until 2008, when I met my best friend for the first time. She introduced me to this particular some, because it was one of her favourites, which suits her right, with her personality. But while listening to this song created a start to the best friendship I’ve ever had. Although we are 10,553 miles away, and haven’t seen each other in 3 years, we still have the best of friendships. She has become more than my friend, she’s my sister.

3) Don’t You (Forget About Me) – Simple Minds

Now this may come as a shock for most of you, but this song came to me before I ever watch ‘The Breakfast Club’. This song reminds me of one person in particular, who never let life get him down and still remains like that to this day. Whenever I hear this song, I think about him and it takes me back to being in high school, around people who made me the type of person I am today.

4) Carry On My Wayward Son – Kansas

This song is one I’ve recently come across, while watching ‘Supernatural’. This song just reminds me of how fast things can pass you by; when you don’t expect it everything’s gone or changed. This song really meant something to me, during a rough time for me. It reminded me that nothing could bring me down, unless I let it.

5) Non-believer – La Rocca

Recent I have felt so lost in life and within myself, I didn’t know what I was doing or why. Everything was starting to blur together into one image that I did not like. But hearing this song took me away from that darkness. It spoke to me when I thought there was no way out, it lifted me up and transcended me to where I am now. A happier version of myself.

I could go on with so many more song that have affected me in various areas of my life and my memory. But for now this is where I’ll leave it. Remember that music will always be there when other things or people aren’t. If you’re afraid to let people in, let music in. Alternatively, do what makes you happy and leads you back to who you want to be.


My Best Fake Smile…


For year’s people have gone about their lives faking every emotion, every movement and interaction they have. In hope it’ll make them feel better in the long run. Knowing if they can fake it for now, sooner or later things will have to turn out right, or at least make things a little easier. I am no expectation to this. I feel like my whole life has been one big fake smile.

But it’s all part of the cosmic cycle of life…right!?

For a while now I have found myself pretending more than I wish to admit to. I’ve always tried not to pretend, but at some point it just felt like the easiest thing to do. Just to go along with everything, hoping that you won’t have a mental break down, because all the pretending is getting too much.

I do feel that as I have gotten old, I’ve entered a stage in my life where I feel like I need not to bother people with my issues or feelings. And not having many friends, meaning I should just stick it out or else let the loneliness get the better of me.

Which has lead to years of making other people happy to ensure that I don’t get grilled about anything, because I’m too tired fighting back, considering I don’t have much already. That has only lead me to feeling the worst I have ever felt. But it wasn’t until a few days ago, when I heard a song.

And in that song was one line that finally changed my perception of everything.

That song was Michael Jacksons, Man In The Mirror.

“If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.”

Now I’m not looking for any sympathy votes here or anything like that. I just wanted to share with you, how easy it is to pretend when you’re stuck in a rut. But when that one glimmer of hope comes along, you really can change things and make yourself a happier person.

So if that means, changing your lifestyle, kicking a few “so-called” friends to the curb. Just do it!!

With a great understanding that I’m starting to sound like Shia LaBeouf. I am going to leave you with two things, and yes one of those things is Shia’s video…but you may end up thanking me for it later.

And secondly, don’t let your life get away from you because something or someone came along and messed it all up, leaving you with a fake smile. Bring the real smile back, that doesn’t mean having smiling all the time or being happy all the time, because that’s not realistic and we know where that will take us again.

Just be you! You deserve to be happy!

Happiness is a mood, not a destination.


Isn’t it strange how people can feel so lost when they think of happiness as a destination? How we have this belief that someday we will be happy. We look toward the destination of the days we’ll get our dream car, our dream job or that person in our lives that’s going to fix everything that’s broken inside of us.

But we’ve lost sight that happiness is a condition, it comes and it goes and that’s all right.

Yet it seems hilarious to think that happiness doesn’t belong anywhere but with someone or in a place that we wish to be. It still feels like something we have to get to, something that’s meant to be permanent.

But it’s not; happiness is like hunger, tiredness, and sadness. It comes and it goes.

We’re constantly pushing this notion into our minds that we have to earn happiness, that is can’t come with the small and simple things and it can’t come around more than once. Rather that it comes in a big packaged prize which we have to search for or hope we win as part of the grand prize at the local fare. We seem to miss the fact that happiness is within us, as well as into the things we do, the people we see, the places we go

The sooner we realise this, the sooner we’ll find happiness more than once in a lifetime.

I’ve been going through a rough patch at the moment; one that I didn’t realise would hit me so hard. And I became one of those lost souls who believed that my happiness had been taken away by a person because that’s where I felt the most happy, the most free. And though I’m not happy to admit it I do feel that way from time to time. I have come to the realisation that I never lost the happiness that I once felt before but in fact that I had just lost sight in hope and the feeling that I could be happy again.

I believed that I only had one shot in that particular type of happiness. It doesn’t seem like that particular feeling of happiness could come around more than once and if it did not so regularly. But the longer I feel like this the longer it won’t come around. I have to let myself believe in it again.

I think we see ourselves as broken in a world that broken with no way out and when we find that glimpse of happiness and hope we cling on to it for dear life. We put our all into it and treasure it. Then when the time comes and it’s taken away from us we feel like fate has been betrayed us and in the mist of all this sadness we believe that we just don’t deserve it.

And that’s when we feel like our worst selves. That’s when we sit and envy all the people who have someone in their lives, or have their dream job to make them happy. But I don’t see that anymore, when I see people walk past with the ones they love, or their lives on track. I realise that they are the ones that saw happiness as an emotion and not the destination they wished to get to. They are the ones that saw happiness show its face more than once and they allowed themselves to see it.

So just keep in mind that, it’s okay to feel a little miserable every now and again, even though things may seem at their best.

Just as it’s okay to feel a little hungry every now and again.

Start Of Something Beautiful…

Okay…so lets get something straight here, never in my life did I think I would ever have the guts to start a blog, but now it seems I have. The even more astonishing thing, is that I thought I’d never make it into university, given I thought about both these things before but never thought they’d actually work. But here we are 2 years later since the last thought was juiced out of my head…and I’m doing it!


I started a blog and started my first day of uni, all at the same time! And yes you guessed it…this is where the start of something beautiful began…

My first day of uni wasn’t as horrifying as my dreams had had made it out to be, though I still had butterflies in my stomach just walking into the place, even though it was a fairly peaceful place.

It’s such a strange experience to witness an area packed with masses and masses of people. I always thought my uni would be a quiet place, given I had only ever seen it while there weren’t many people there…guess it never occurred to me until yesterday when I couldn’t make out a single face. It was as if they had all morphed into this one huge person, is it weird that when I say that all I can think about is the alien from Alien?

But I think its safe to say I managed to get through the day without a scratch but I did end up with a bite but I think that has more to do with insect really loving to bite me all the time! But that’s beside the point…what the real issues is that I managed to get out of my shell and talk to people…eventually. Although I did keep an eye out for anyone I knew as a helping start, which helped more than I thought it would. For anyone who is shy or socially awkward, will know that we are the type of people that will shy away from confrontation. We will blend into the crowd as not to be seen so people walk right pass us and never think twice…well today I changed that, today I over came my fear faster than I could ever imagine. Which makes me feel that uni may, in fact be the place for me!!

Though this blogging thing on the other hand has got my mind in quite a pickle! I’ve been trying to post this post for days and get my blog up and running the way I want it. It’s crazy! Although I do believe I may have been clicking on the wrong buttons or something of the sort. But now I believe its working!


Though I’m sure I should’t ramble for too long, I mean the week has only just begun. And that for me can be either good or bad, but I guess we’ll soon find out. Though I have a strong feeling that this is the start of something beautiful…and there we have it, I think I said the title enough times to make it into a feature film, any takers?

I guess I’m not as funny as I like to make out. But this here is a chance for the real British side of my personality to come out…here we go…

Pip-Pip Ta-Ta Cheerio